The telephone call took me by surprise. Calls like this one always do. Even when you expect the news-it’s still a shock. If I wanted to visit with Tom, I should go to Atlanta as soon as possible. Hospice was called in and they felt he was very near the end of his life on earth. What?! I had just seen Tom a few months earlier and it seemed like he was doing better. He had battled cancer for years, but looked like he was on solid ground in the fight. And now it was time to say goodbye?
I took a deep breath and let it out in one big sigh. It was all I could manage. I guess I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m praying for you,” I would say each time I saw him. I was praying for Tom. He knew that; wasn’t that enough? I was overcome with the call to give him more than my assurances. I cleared the deck of a crazy schedule, got in my car and headed to Atlanta.
And then I heard the voice. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s the voice that second guesses everything you do, so you end up doing just what you’ve always done, or worse, you do nothing.
“You haven’t seen him in months," the voice chided. "You don’t talk to him regularly. He knows you’re praying for him. You can just send a note.” And then the question that stops so many thundered out. "What are you going to say?!”
I’ve been with people in some of the most difficult circumstances in life. And yet there are times when I still struggle with what to say or do. I always feel like I should have the right words, say the right things and pray the right prayers, after all I'm a priest. And yet all those words in the face of some kinds of suffering can seem empty.
I know I'm not alone in this feeling. I hear these comments all the time: "I wouldn't know what to say." "I'm no good at praying out loud." "I don't know what to do." I watch as these words stop people from doing anything.
As I drove toward Atlanta I was reminded of the Apostle Paul's words in Romans. "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27.
The Spirit of God joins our sigh over the struggles and pain in this world. When we don't have the words or know what to do, God fills in the gaps with "sighs too deep for words." The immortal and omnipotent God sighs because He identifies with us. The life of Jesus shows us this. He was plunged into a sea of vulnerability and was subjected to rejection, hunger, weakness, pain and death. His life also shows us that God ultimately brings new life. God controls it all, even when we can't see it or when things don't go the way we would will them. And how we experience our present is completely shaped by what we believe about our future. Our sigh can be the end of it and we can give in to the anxiety, or we can remember the character and history of God.
I walked into Tom's room. His breathing was shallow and labored. He looked at me and struggled to say hi. He couldn't speak more than a word or two, so I talked a little.
I reminded him about the time we first met at a company convention. I thanked him for introducing me to jazz music. Then I prayed for awhile. And then...silence. I sighed. I was out of words and somehow that was just fine. The words were just getting in the way.
I spied a CD player in the corner of the room, so I picked out a Chris Botti jazz selection and hit play. The music filled the room as I sat next to his bed. I held his hand in silence and listened.
And then I heard the voice. It was more of a sigh or groan. I'm sure it was the breath of the Holy Spirit and it rippled over the music and our breathing to the ears of God. I heard it and I'm pretty sure Tom did too. It was the best prayer of all. Without words it reminded us of whose we are and who holds every moment of yesterday, today and tomorrow in the palm of his hand. And through the sadness and suffering the room filled with hope.
There are times when we don't need to have the right words. We aren't required to have it all figured out and arrive with just the right action to save the day. We don't even have to say or do anything. We just have to show up and be fully present. We are after all called to be faithful, not perfect. And when we're open to the movement and will of God, God uses us, even when we try our best to get in the way.
Even when all we do is sit silently with a friend.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Who Needs A God Like This?
(Montgomery Advertiser article for February-2011)
Who Needs A God Like This?
What does it mean to say that we are blessed? “God has really blessed me,” I hear people say when they get good news of have good fortune. “Have a blessed day,” someone adds as they say goodbye. But what do we say when our day or life doesn’t turn out the way we expect? When a child gets sick, really sick, and you pray every day, maybe all day that things will get better, but nothing changes? When a job is lost, a country is thrown into turmoil or a person we love goes away. Are we still blessed?
The world conditions us to think that blessings only come when life is good. If we have wealth, good health, and everything’s just right, we’re blessed. And when we don’t, we aren’t. But when life gets too heavy—your family falls apart; or your mother dies; or you can’t pay your bills—we can be left feeling that God is absent or doesn’t care. We go through the motions. We pray, but we can’t help but wonder, why? Who, we ask, needs a God like this?
“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” (1 Cor 1:18). I believe these are some of the most powerful and important words in the New Testament. The Apostle Paul speaks them to a bustling, industrious and wealthy community. Money, power and human wisdom meant everything. They were signs of success, strength and blessing. Paul comes and points to the cross. He shows them that God is most present where he seems least present.
I can hear the collective cry of the people, “Who needs a God like this?” I don’t want weakness. I want bright, shiny success. I want God’s favor and blessing, and that means wherever God is, waves can’t exist.
Think about the second day after the crucifixion. Jesus died a miserable death. The tomb holds his body and it’s sealed shut. This is how things look from the very bottom. Everyone glances around and thinks it’s over. Lots of tears and a ton of doubt. Who will lead? Where do they go? They come up short. No answers. Utter despair. Really? Who needs a God like this?!
But God was there-the whole time. The disciples had to wait to discover that, but God never left them. God was at work, preparing all for new life.
In the worst moments, God may seem absent, but God moves through the reversals of fortune. Think about it. If you look at your own past and see a deep crevice of pain, it is there that you can often see your faith deepened. You see a trust in God and a realization that you can’t save yourself. You probably didn’t know it then, but you do now.
And yet, we are so quick to exchange this wisdom for the idea that God only loves us when we are worthy or successful by the standards of the world. We are only blessed or useful, we think, when we achieve something or have something to offer. When we don’t, we feel we aren’t blessed. When we do this we ignore God’s saving work in the cross. We forget that the way of God is often using the shame of the world for God’s glory. We never deserve it and we can’t earn it, but God is present, loving us anyway.
God often sneaks in through the back door of life. The crucifixion allows us to derive meaning from reversals. Many times it is through weakness that we are made strong. It is through the cross and resurrection that we see what it means to be blessed, even in the midst of challenges.
Remember how the story ends. The crucifixion starts in despair and ends in new life. The future couldn’t get any bleaker for Jesus and his disciples. But, God had a plan. And no matter what the circumstance, we can look to God’s work throughout time, especially the saving work of the cross, and see what it means to be saved from whatever it is that causes our despair.
For most, this too shall pass. And, for some, it may not. But when Jesus rises from the dead, he tells us there is light at the end of the tunnel, and if we hold on through our most doubtful times, our Lord will carry and cover us.
Who needs a God like this? I do. How about you?
Who Needs A God Like This?
What does it mean to say that we are blessed? “God has really blessed me,” I hear people say when they get good news of have good fortune. “Have a blessed day,” someone adds as they say goodbye. But what do we say when our day or life doesn’t turn out the way we expect? When a child gets sick, really sick, and you pray every day, maybe all day that things will get better, but nothing changes? When a job is lost, a country is thrown into turmoil or a person we love goes away. Are we still blessed?
The world conditions us to think that blessings only come when life is good. If we have wealth, good health, and everything’s just right, we’re blessed. And when we don’t, we aren’t. But when life gets too heavy—your family falls apart; or your mother dies; or you can’t pay your bills—we can be left feeling that God is absent or doesn’t care. We go through the motions. We pray, but we can’t help but wonder, why? Who, we ask, needs a God like this?
“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” (1 Cor 1:18). I believe these are some of the most powerful and important words in the New Testament. The Apostle Paul speaks them to a bustling, industrious and wealthy community. Money, power and human wisdom meant everything. They were signs of success, strength and blessing. Paul comes and points to the cross. He shows them that God is most present where he seems least present.
I can hear the collective cry of the people, “Who needs a God like this?” I don’t want weakness. I want bright, shiny success. I want God’s favor and blessing, and that means wherever God is, waves can’t exist.
Think about the second day after the crucifixion. Jesus died a miserable death. The tomb holds his body and it’s sealed shut. This is how things look from the very bottom. Everyone glances around and thinks it’s over. Lots of tears and a ton of doubt. Who will lead? Where do they go? They come up short. No answers. Utter despair. Really? Who needs a God like this?!
But God was there-the whole time. The disciples had to wait to discover that, but God never left them. God was at work, preparing all for new life.
In the worst moments, God may seem absent, but God moves through the reversals of fortune. Think about it. If you look at your own past and see a deep crevice of pain, it is there that you can often see your faith deepened. You see a trust in God and a realization that you can’t save yourself. You probably didn’t know it then, but you do now.
And yet, we are so quick to exchange this wisdom for the idea that God only loves us when we are worthy or successful by the standards of the world. We are only blessed or useful, we think, when we achieve something or have something to offer. When we don’t, we feel we aren’t blessed. When we do this we ignore God’s saving work in the cross. We forget that the way of God is often using the shame of the world for God’s glory. We never deserve it and we can’t earn it, but God is present, loving us anyway.
God often sneaks in through the back door of life. The crucifixion allows us to derive meaning from reversals. Many times it is through weakness that we are made strong. It is through the cross and resurrection that we see what it means to be blessed, even in the midst of challenges.
Remember how the story ends. The crucifixion starts in despair and ends in new life. The future couldn’t get any bleaker for Jesus and his disciples. But, God had a plan. And no matter what the circumstance, we can look to God’s work throughout time, especially the saving work of the cross, and see what it means to be saved from whatever it is that causes our despair.
For most, this too shall pass. And, for some, it may not. But when Jesus rises from the dead, he tells us there is light at the end of the tunnel, and if we hold on through our most doubtful times, our Lord will carry and cover us.
Who needs a God like this? I do. How about you?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Power and Release
This is the "Montgomery Advertiser" article for January.
I called it the vase of power. It lived in the living room of my friend, Brad, (names have been changed to protect the innocent). It didn’t look like much of a treasure to me, but it sure was to his mother. The vase claimed a special spot in the living room, an off limits place to all children. Of course, the fact that we couldn’t go in the room made us want to go all the more, and one day, that’s exactly what Brad and his sister, Katie, did. That day, the vase took power over everyone.
Brad’s parents went out to dinner and left the oldest child, Mike, “in charge.” Brad and Katie bolted through the living room, straight into the vase, which split straight up the middle. With quick action, big brother Mike glued his mother’s treasure back together and turned the cracked side toward the wall. Everyone agreed their secret was safe.
And though the vase seemed fine, each time their mother walked by the living room everyone held their breath, sure that this day she would notice and the secret would be out. They became so afraid of what might happen that they began avoiding her altogether. The big brother even started to wield the secret’s power over his siblings. “Do this, or I’ll tell. Do that, or she’ll hate you forever.” They became slaves to Mike and the secret of the vase.
Then one day Brad and Katie could take it no more. Through a stream of tears, they sat their mother down, apologized profusely, and confessed. Their mother smiled. “I’ve known all along. I’ve just been waiting to hear it from you.”In that instant, their mother released the great power that held Brad and Katie in its grip.
With the confession came punishments, but it was nothing compared to the guilt that oppressed them for so long. It wasn’t pleasant for a short time, but the relationship with their mother was repaired, and in it they found love and forgiveness. They all moved forward, but first they had to name and claim the thing that had power over them. Only then could they release the hold it had on their lives. They had to go through confession to fall into the arms of forgiveness. Until it was out in the open, they would serve it in one way or another.
The beginning of a new year is a time we make resolutions to do better, or move in a new direction. We are ready to jump to forgiveness and the new life on the other side, but if we don’t acknowledge those things that separate us from God and the good he intends, they will always be waiting in the living room of life, reminding us of the regret and shame that rarely allows us to truly move forward.
I believe one of our greatest fears is that we will be uncovered and left that way. If the secret of what we've done or left undone gets out, we will be in a free fall that won't end. This even applies to our relationship with God. Although we say we know there is forgiveness with God, sometimes we doubt it. We feel that if God really knew, he couldn't really forgive.
So we try to move forward and wonder why we always end up where we started. We cover ourselves with the secrets that sap us of energy and dry up our souls. We become slaves to the lowest common denominator and cover ourselves with bad behavior that left unchecked will ultimately cause us to do things we regret. We justify such behavior by telling ourselves it's the only way to get ahead or that everyone else is like this or that, or at least I'm not as bad as that.
God calls us to be more. As children of the living, loving God, we are not just like everyone else.
Jesus shows us where to begin. By the River Jordan, John the Baptist asked people to repent and turn to God. So Jesus, the one who was already clean, already in perfect relationship with God, crawled down the muddy bank and entered the water. John resisted, but Jesus knew this was an important starting place for his ministry and what he would do. He stands right in the middle of the dirty water with us, in the cracked places of our lives. He is broken so we made be made whole. He shows us through his ministry, death and resurrection how to be reconciled to God. It doesn’t begin at the cross or tomb. It begins in the cleansing waters of repentance and confession.
When we turn to God, confess and repent, we will hear the same voice that Jesus heard when he emerged from the water. “This is my child, the beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” (Matt. 3:17). We will be covered through forgiveness and strengthened to serve in new ways. We will be freed at last from those things in this world that have power over us. Through that confession and forgiveness we finally find inner peace and what it means to be beloved.
Who or what will we serve this year? This is an important question that will not just determine the course of our year, but the rest of our lives.
I called it the vase of power. It lived in the living room of my friend, Brad, (names have been changed to protect the innocent). It didn’t look like much of a treasure to me, but it sure was to his mother. The vase claimed a special spot in the living room, an off limits place to all children. Of course, the fact that we couldn’t go in the room made us want to go all the more, and one day, that’s exactly what Brad and his sister, Katie, did. That day, the vase took power over everyone.
Brad’s parents went out to dinner and left the oldest child, Mike, “in charge.” Brad and Katie bolted through the living room, straight into the vase, which split straight up the middle. With quick action, big brother Mike glued his mother’s treasure back together and turned the cracked side toward the wall. Everyone agreed their secret was safe.
And though the vase seemed fine, each time their mother walked by the living room everyone held their breath, sure that this day she would notice and the secret would be out. They became so afraid of what might happen that they began avoiding her altogether. The big brother even started to wield the secret’s power over his siblings. “Do this, or I’ll tell. Do that, or she’ll hate you forever.” They became slaves to Mike and the secret of the vase.
Then one day Brad and Katie could take it no more. Through a stream of tears, they sat their mother down, apologized profusely, and confessed. Their mother smiled. “I’ve known all along. I’ve just been waiting to hear it from you.”In that instant, their mother released the great power that held Brad and Katie in its grip.
With the confession came punishments, but it was nothing compared to the guilt that oppressed them for so long. It wasn’t pleasant for a short time, but the relationship with their mother was repaired, and in it they found love and forgiveness. They all moved forward, but first they had to name and claim the thing that had power over them. Only then could they release the hold it had on their lives. They had to go through confession to fall into the arms of forgiveness. Until it was out in the open, they would serve it in one way or another.
The beginning of a new year is a time we make resolutions to do better, or move in a new direction. We are ready to jump to forgiveness and the new life on the other side, but if we don’t acknowledge those things that separate us from God and the good he intends, they will always be waiting in the living room of life, reminding us of the regret and shame that rarely allows us to truly move forward.
I believe one of our greatest fears is that we will be uncovered and left that way. If the secret of what we've done or left undone gets out, we will be in a free fall that won't end. This even applies to our relationship with God. Although we say we know there is forgiveness with God, sometimes we doubt it. We feel that if God really knew, he couldn't really forgive.
So we try to move forward and wonder why we always end up where we started. We cover ourselves with the secrets that sap us of energy and dry up our souls. We become slaves to the lowest common denominator and cover ourselves with bad behavior that left unchecked will ultimately cause us to do things we regret. We justify such behavior by telling ourselves it's the only way to get ahead or that everyone else is like this or that, or at least I'm not as bad as that.
God calls us to be more. As children of the living, loving God, we are not just like everyone else.
Jesus shows us where to begin. By the River Jordan, John the Baptist asked people to repent and turn to God. So Jesus, the one who was already clean, already in perfect relationship with God, crawled down the muddy bank and entered the water. John resisted, but Jesus knew this was an important starting place for his ministry and what he would do. He stands right in the middle of the dirty water with us, in the cracked places of our lives. He is broken so we made be made whole. He shows us through his ministry, death and resurrection how to be reconciled to God. It doesn’t begin at the cross or tomb. It begins in the cleansing waters of repentance and confession.
When we turn to God, confess and repent, we will hear the same voice that Jesus heard when he emerged from the water. “This is my child, the beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” (Matt. 3:17). We will be covered through forgiveness and strengthened to serve in new ways. We will be freed at last from those things in this world that have power over us. Through that confession and forgiveness we finally find inner peace and what it means to be beloved.
Who or what will we serve this year? This is an important question that will not just determine the course of our year, but the rest of our lives.
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